I can't bring myself to enjoy, or initiate being intimate with my bf like earlier
I can't bring myself to enjoy, or initiate being intimate with my bf
like earlier in the relationship. I've been with my bf, my first love,
for over 2 yrs now. Recently, he was honest with me about something, but
basically he had lied to me throughout our whole relationship. I would
ask about it and he straight up lied to my face each time I brought it
up. I knew he was lying all along, and knew that he would lie to me AND
about me, which he has done both and it has REALLY hurt me. It doesn't
help that I get criticized about almost everything I do. I don't do that
to him. Plus I'm the only one working, and he's told me the other day
he's "had no ambition to get a job for the last couple months". All that
has stressed me out, I'm tired all the time, and I've realized there's
an underlying feeling of anger or resentment about all of it.
Anyway, we have had sex maybe 4 times in the last several months that
he has lived with me at my parents' house. The living arrangement isn't
the problem. He asks for oral or "hand action", but I'm just not into
it like before. I feel like I have to do twice the work, which makes me
not want to do it, and it takes even longer. The amount of time it took
never bothered me before, about an hour. We would have sex for 4 hours
at a time in the beginning, and now sometimes not even an hour, if that.
I don't think I get turned on the way that I used to. So, I guess my
question or questions are: should I feel bad about feeling this way
towards him? What can I do to make it better? I don't want to leave him,
but I don't know what to do anymore.