10 Bizarre Beauty Products for Women

10 Bizarre Beauty Products for Women




.fullpost { display: inline; }

Some women never stop bemoaning how exhausting their beauty regimen is.
The hours in the salon, the endless application of makeup, the miseries
of ill-fitting high heels — all these labors, we are told, are a
terrible chore. Generally we just nod along, trying not to look for a
fight. But after witnessing these beauty products for women, we’re
inclined to agree — women have it a lot worse than men. Sphincter Tincture The anal bleaching cream Honey Bare Butt Bleach
promises that with just a few applications where the sun don’t shine, a
woman’s asshole will look as pristine as the day she were born. You’ll
never answer “Does my ass look good in this?” the same way again. Blowing Bubbles It’s
hard to believe women have been shelling out big bucks for breast
implants when all the while they could have increased their cup size
through chewing. Yes, Bust Up Gum
offers to enhance the size, shape, and tone of a woman’s breasts and
improve her breath all at once. Would she prefer to snack on something
sweet instead? Then F-Cup Cookies is the perfect choice. Loose Lips Get Grips Kegel exercises are known to strengthen a woman’s vaginal muscles, improving sex and well-being. But who has the time? Well, pantyO’s
allow women to do their kegels on the go, with a one-inch “Kegel
Exercise Extension” sewn into the crotch of the panty. And their stylish
patterns offer the look of clown underwear every man goes crazy for. Arm Flab to Fab Girdle
technology has long offered women the toned mid-section they want with
severe discomfort and internal injury as an added bonus. But why
restrict the girdle to the gut? With Très Sleek, women can wrap their arms in a constricting, skin tight death-grip and get the biceps they’ve always wanted. Add Time to the Hourglass Every woman wants to look wider in the hips, right? Right? Until plastic surgeons invent hip implants, however, Gimme Hips!
is the perfect solution, adding inches to a woman’s waistline without
having to go to all the effort of eating to put on those extra pounds. Like BreatheRite in Reverse Trying to go from schnozola to sexy without paying for a nose job? Then NoseSecret
is just the thing. Yes, women have discovered that cramming two pieces
of plastic up their noses will shrink those unsightly honkers while
giving their voices that congested whine men just love. Gem Zones Women everywhere want to look like they caught an STD from a robot, but the technology just isn’t there. Thank God, then, for Vajazzling — the application of Swarovski crystals to the pubis. Women can do it at home with their own Vajazzle Kit or have it done at a salon, like this lunatic. Flash a Smile Who says crystals are only meant for New Age healing and nether regions? SmileGems
can be applied directly to a woman’s tooth enamel, giving her
significant other the constant sense that she’s got food stuck in her
teeth. Get Reflexible When the woman in your life just loves giving head but is sick of that sore throat in the morning, give her the gift of Deep Throat,
“a strawberry-flavored oral desensitizer that can make oral sex easier
to perform.” The fruity taste is for her, the pleasure is for you. The Color of Honey Have you ever heard of “genital color loss”? Neither have we, but apparently My New Pink Button
is just the solution. This temporary dye promises to return that pink
glow back to any vagina. Think of it as lip polish, just not the lips
you’d typically think of. Source