Positive Parenting Techniques

Positive Parenting Technique #1
Speak their "language."
Your child may have a behavioral style exactly like your, but, more likely, they will be a bit different from you and their siblings.

For example, we have two daughters. One is a little like her mom, and also different. The other is a little like her dad, and also different. And, they are as different as night and day from each other.

In order for our oldest daughter to really receive the message we want her to receive, we have to speak slowly, calmly, and factually. For her sister, we have to speak quickly and directly. Neither one is the "right" or "wrong" way to communicate. They are just different.

The simplest model we know for learning to speak your child's natural "language" is the DISC Model. We strongly recommend that both parents complete an adult DISC profile, each child 4-12 complete a BOTS! DISC profile, and that each teen/young adult complete a Get Real! DISC profile.

Learn to speak their "language."

A Video To Help You With Positive Parenting Technique #1


Positive Parenting Technique #2
Speak to them at their level.
Especially when your children are young, put yourself physically on their level when you speak to them. Standing over them, especially if you are angry, tends to trigger fear and defiance rather than cooperation.

When you want to deliver a message to your younger child, bend, kneel, or sit so that you can speak to them eye-to-eye. This simple act, gets their attention and reduces the fear your bigger physical size can inspire (People, big or small, really cannot listen well when they are afraid.)

You will be amazed at how this improves their receptiveness to what you have to say.

Speak to them at their level.

Positive Parenting Technique #3
Make your love and respect for them unconditional.
It's easy to show love and respect when your kids behave appropriately. What if, however, they have just disobeyed you, broken your favorite vase, or painted on your walls? Is it easy to show them love then?

To effectively apply positive parenting techniques, you need to show love and respect for them no matter what they do. To your kid, this means: controlling your voice volume and tone, choosing your words carefully, and watching your body language. It's not always easy. It is worth it. (Check our Positive Parenting Tips page for some insights to help in this area.)

If you only treat your children respectfully when all is calm and happy, they may begin to believe that your love is tied to their good behavior rather than to them as people. It is possible to show love even in discipline.

Make your love and respect for them unconditional.

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My best tips are: be always near your children, and talk to them. They feel safe when their parents are not indifferent to their existence and busy with their own problems. Participate of your children's lives, go often to their schools, invite their friends home, etc. You must know very well your children's friends because they influence them very much. And, don't be afraid of talking about everything. Be afraid of silence and distance. When you talk to your children about everything (including sex) you have the chance to give them advice (even when they don't accept it ? your words will remain in their minds and they'll think about them later). This way you'll not only prepare them for adolescence; you'll also learn many things that you would completely ignore if you didn't have a regular communication with them.